Tears of Sand: Rewritten
by pitifuldreamer666
Summary: Gaara had a childhood friend named Aiko, who later became his wife. But once he took the title of Kazekage, he started to forget about his feelings for her. What will happen to their crumbling marital lives? Gaara/OC. This is the REWRITTEN version of the original Tears of Sand.
1. Pitiful

**Hello everyone. This is the rewritten version of Tears of Sand: Original because the previous one really sucked.**

**I hope that this version will be slightly more pleasing.**

******Disclaimer: I do not own anything except for my OC character. I get no money from writing and posting this (my writing isn't even worth half a penny anyway). I just do it because I'm bored.**

"Talking"

_Flashback, Writing_

_**Sound**_

* * *

Tears of Sand: Rewritten

Chapter 1: Pitiful

Strolling down an empty street at the dead of night, was our favorite crimson-haired Kazekage, Gaara. As he walked, his soft aqua eyes focused solely on the luminescent glow of the moon, his only welcomed nighttime companion. To wander aimlessly around the dirt streets of Sunagakure when the citizens were asleep became one of the small rituals that he had come up with after his Kazekage ceremony. It helped him cope with the stress of having mountains of paperwork stacked so high that he was completely hidden from view if someone were to pop in, but it also allowed him some peace and quiet to reflect on his day and the decisions that he made, whether they be about politics, the economy, or his almost non-existent social life.

It had been an especially long day in the office for Gaara. There was now three times more paperwork thanks to the growing suspicion that Hariganegakure* was secretly manufacturing weapons and building their ninja forces in a plan to invade Suna. The Council speculated that their motive was to replace Suna as the most powerful hidden village in Kaze no Kuni. The history of Harigane was never a peaceful one. They have went through countless bloody civil wars over power and money. Their government was disorganized, divided, and corrupt. The population was either starving or bathing in gold. Even today, the village hadn't made much progress. In fact, they became even worse. Their leaders were extremely violent, spiteful, and paranoid towards both outsiders, and their own people. If they had the slightest inkling of doubt in a villager's or a ninja's loyalty to the higher ups, they were immediately interrogated, tortured, and slaughtered in order to squash a possible rebellion before it spirals into mutiny. Their ninja patrolled the perimeters and surrounding area of the village. Any ninjas or travelers they encountered were detained and interrogated for weeks, sometimes even months, before swiping their memory and releasing them in the middle of nowhere. In an attempt to placate the situation, Gaara and the Council were taking steps to peacefully negotiate with them. It was tough being the Kazekage.

* * *

The crimson haired Kazekage made his way to his house and there, sleeping at the dining table with long, glossy, raven black hair sprawled over her pale face, was Aiko, his wife.

She wore a simple but elegant yukata* that was cut short so it would reach just above her knees to show-off her slender legs. It was a pale shade of lavender with black vines swirling around the sleeves, thighs, and chest. The obi* was also black but had a white obijime*.

Her golden honey eyes popped open at the creak of the opening door and an angelic smile crossed her lips. Her head swerved to meet her beloved husband standing in the doorway.

"Ah, Gaara, you have returned! I made dinner in case you have not had anything to eat yet; it's your favorite!" she exclaimed, pulling out his chair and gesturing him to come and sit down.

"... I've told you not to wait for me." he said, unfazed by her upbeat gesture.

"Oh, y-you are right, I-I am sorry. I... just was hoping that maybe we could... ummm... have dinner together since we do not get to see each other much anymore." Aiko stuttered with a shade of red covering her cheeks, twiddling her fingers while looking nervously around the room.

"I'm not hungry." Gaara stated coldly as he headed for his room.

"Oh, well, then... do you... do you want to go on the roof and watch the stars with me? They are quite beautiful tonight." she suggested, desperate to spend some time with her husband, since they only got to see each other late at night when he finally came home after work, that is, if he decided to come home at all. Sometimes, he would spend the night in the office finishing paperwork. His record for staying locked in his office was two months.

"No thanks. Aiko, just go to bed. It's late." and with that, he quietly closed the door behind him.

"Oh… okay, goodnight Gaara..." she faked a smile, disappointed, while a delicate tear streamed down her face. **_Drip, drop._** The sound of tears hitting the clay floor echoed in the empty dining room. The carefully prepared meal and romantic candles were now forgotten.

Aiko had not eaten and waited all evening for Gaara so they could eat together. In the hours before Gaara return, her stomach had been growling vigorously, but now, she had completely lost her appetite. And besides, food never tasted any good when you were eating it by yourself. She should know, since it was like that for her during the first few years of her existence. She removed the plates, cups, and silverware and stored away the untouched dishes of cuisine in the refrigerator. The compartments were practically overflowing with previous meals that Gaara also didn't eat. Aiko made a mental note that she should buy a bigger refrigerator soon.

She trudged to her own room, separate from Gaara's. It was unusual for a married couple not to share the same room and bed, but it was not always like this. During their engagement and the first years of marriage, they were as happy and close as could be. However, that perfect life didn't last for long. Little by little, he drifted away from her. The signs were subtle enough that she was able to ignore it and pretend that nothing was wrong, that he was just stressed and tired from the responsibilities of being Kazekage. But once he moved into a new room in the house, she had to accept the fact that their married life was falling apart. Aiko lied down on the queen sized bed. They use to comfortably fit in this bed together, like two pieces in a puzzle, but once he left, there was an incomplete puzzle with only one piece. She hated this bed. It was too big for her. And when she would wake up in the morning and go to bed in the night, there was always an empty space next to her, which made her feel even lonelier than before.

She, like every other night, would slip into the cold bed and softly hum herself to sleep with a lullaby. She held her small hand in front of her face as she lay and longingly gazed at the shiny ring on her finger. Absentmindedly placing a chaste kiss on the piece of silver around her ring finger, she whispered soft chants before sleep overtook her, "Come back to me."

* * *

(Flashback)

_"Hey, why are you crying?"_ _the young girl asked._

_The boy looked up in surprise but didn't reply. His voice was caught in his throat from shock. The silence droned on for so long that any normal person would have already walked away from impatience.  
_

_The girl gave a bright smile and assured, "It's okay if you don't want to talk now; I'll wait." Plopping down on the swing to his right, she patiently waited. There again was a long pause, he was stunned that someone would approach him and even sit down next to him. Didn't she know who he was? What he could do?_

_Finally gathering his courage, the little boy spoke, clutching the chain of the swing, "I… don't like it here. No one will come near me. They all scream. It's lonely. I hate it."_

"_But… I'm right here. I'm sitting right next to you," The girl said, grasping the edge of his sleeve. "You're not alone anymore. Look. I'm right here."_

"… _You… won't go anywhere?" he asked, his hope rising._

"_Nope, I'll stay right here." she assured with a confident grin, gripping his sleeve even tighter to make her point._

"… _I see." the boy mumbled in relief at her words of comfort._

"_So, what's your name? Mine is Aiko." the girl introduced proudly, pointing to herself._

_"..." the boy turned his head away, afraid that his new friend would go back on her word and run away if she knew who he was. Even if she didn't know what he looked like, she must certainly know his name. Everyone did._

_Sensing the boy's discomfort, the girl tried to delicately coax it out of him, "I'm sure your name isn't be that bad. Besides, your parents thought long and hard to give you that name so you should be proud of it, not embarrassed."_

_Willing himself to take a chance, he muttered under his breath, "G-Gaara, Sabaku no Gaara." He shut his eyes and waited for the screams of terror that was all too familiar. He waited and waited, but it never came. He peeked out and saw the girl slightly confused by his action._

_"What's wrong? Are you okay? Does it hurt somewhere?" she placed her hand on his forehead in concern._

_"Y-you're not afraid?" the boy asked in disbelief, his eyes wide._

_The girl's eyebrows knit in confusion, "Of what, your name? Well, I guess it is uncommon, but it's not scary. So," stretching out her hand, she asked again with a warm smile on her face, "now that we know each others' names, will you play with me?"_

_At a loss of words the boy nodded and took the girl's small, cool hand, which was unusual in Suna since the weather was always hot and dry. But it was comfortable.  
_

* * *

Aiko awoke from her dream of the past, only to find herself in an uncomfortable position on the floor beside the bed; she must have fallen off during the night. She unraveled herself from the twisted blankets that fell with her and made her bed.

"I better go make breakfast for Gaara." she told herself as she smoothed out the last wrinkle in the sheets.

She trotted over to the kitchen and with a knife in hand, started chopping up ingredients. She had made raisin muffins, sunny-side up eggs, fluffy pancakes, crispy bacon, an omelet, and toasted hash browns. It was similar to a restaurant buffet. Kazekages do need their morning energy boost in order to get through the day without collapsing.

She sat down at the table, content with her work, and waited for her husband, in hope that they could eat together.

(Four hours pass)

Staring at the clock as it chimed ten o'clock, Aiko laughed bitterly, "Oh, how stupid of me. He always leaves before I wake up. Ha ha ha. What am I doing?" she laughed to herself as she lowered her head and silently cried. No matter what environment she was in, no matter how the details of the situation might have changed, it was only her who waited. Even when she was a child, it was always her.

Watching small droplets of tears pool on the table, Aiko thought back to a life she hoped she would never have to relive. She remembered that she use to live with her mother in Waiagakure. Or, maybe 'live' wasn't the right term for it, more like 'wasted away'. For the first four years of her life, all she knew were feelings of loneliness, hunger, and pain within a crumbling three room apartment. The biggest room, a 9'x9' space, had a tatami* mat floor. The walls were riddled with holes and peeling wallpaper so there was always a draft of icy wind during the night. The only pieces of furniture were a small, wooden table and one ragged futon*. Even though Aiko's mother was rarely home, she forbade Aiko from sleeping on the futon, claiming that once a "cockroach's filth" got on fabric, it would never come out. Therefore, Aiko always slept on the floor. The second room, a kitchen, was unused for two reasons. The first being that there was neither ingredients to cook, nor utensils to cook with since Aiko's mother never went grocery shopping. The second was that the power had been cut off because of neglected bills, therefore, the refrigerator, stove, and oven, were rendered useless. The third room, a bathroom, was the most used room in the apartment. The water for the sink and shower were cut off just like the electricity, however, there was a secret pipe behind the wall that was somehow connected to the water system of the room next door. So whenever the neighbors turned on the sink, water would flow through the pipe, giving Aiko's apartment free water.

To word it nicely, the living conditions were poor. And since there was no steady supply of food walking in the door, Aiko, from an early age, realized that the only way to live was to get it herself. So at five-years-old, she started stealing fruit, bread, and fish from market stalls. This, of course, did not help her to get in the good graces of the villagers. Whenever they saw her walking down the street, they would hit her with either their brooms, or their fists. And when they were too tired or too lazy to hurt her themselves, they would send their dogs to bite her and their children to stone her. But on good days, when the villagers were in a relatively content mood, they would yell, curse, and spit on her, saying that she would be doing the whole world a favour by staying in the gutter, like the "sewer rat" she was, and never coming out.

The first time Aiko heard this, she took it to heart and deeply pondered this for the rest of the day, through the night, and into the next morning. If she did not steal, she would die. The villagers told her not to steal, so, did that mean that they were telling her to die? This confused Aiko even more. Death was apparently a bad thing. She knew by looking out the window in the living room. When somebody died, people would veer away from their daily routines to gather and cry. Crying meant that they were sad. And since people were scheduling a time and place to cry, that meant that they were all very sad. So, why was it that the villagers said that they would be happier if she died? What was the difference between her and everybody else? What was it that made her different? Why was it that nobody wanted her to live? Aiko thought and thought but could not find the answers to any of these questions. She considered asking the villagers, but quickly subdued that idea, convincing herself that it was because if she just asked for the answer and didn't find it out on her own, there wouldn't be any satisfaction in knowing. However, deep within her subconscious, she knew that it was really because she didn't want to know the answer. Losing the desire to contemplate this further, Aiko pushed it out of her mind and decided to save it for a later date.

And so, life carried on for Aiko: she woke up, checked the house to see if her mother had returned while she was asleep, stole food, checked the house to see if her mother had returned while she was stealing, ate some stolen food, waited by the door for her mother to return, watched the villagers from the window, counted the number of bamboo straws in the tatami mat, ate some stolen food, waited by the door for her mother to return, collected pebbles, skipped pebbles in the river, dived for the pebbles, made a pebble pyramid, checked the house to see if her mother had returned while she was playing, ate the rest of the stolen food, stargazed/moongazed, made a wish for her mother to come home soon, fell asleep, and repeat. And one day, she got her wish.

(Flashback)

_Aiko had just finished the last bite of stolen bread when she heard a creaking door open from behind. "Mo-" Aiko began as she turned to greet the woman, but a sharp kick to the face interrupted her. Her tiny body went flying and crashed on the other side of the room. Her mother glided over with her arms crossed and stood in front of Aiko, who was still sprawled on the floor._

_"You know," the woman calmly began, "I have been getting a lot of complaints from everybody about you. Something about... you stealing food?" Suddenly, the smooth voice was replaced with a shrill shout, "What did you think you were doing?" __She kicked Aiko in the stomach. _"Why do you have to cause me so much trouble?" _She stomped on Aiko's ribcage. **Crack.** _"You know what everybody's been saying about me?" She twisted Aiko's arm backwards. **Snap.** "They said that children are a reflection of their parents and that it's my fault you act this way!" She grabbed a fistful of Aiko's hair and threw her face onto the floor. **Whack. Whack. Whack. **"Do you want me to look bad?" She turned Aiko over, sat on her, and gripped her neck like a vice. "Ungrateful brat, you're the reason why he left me! My life would have been so much better if you had never existed!"

_Gasping and scratching at the woman's hands, the world started to darken as Aiko slipped into unconsciousness. The room faded into the blackness and the only thing Aiko could see was her mother's contorted face that was consumed in a raging fury, like a wild fire. Aiko blinked slowly as blood cascaded down her face, weakly murmuring, "Mo...mmy..." before slipping into an empty world of numbness._

_When Aiko finally regained conciousness, she found herself buried under heaps of black plastic bags. The rancid stench of rotting food and decomposing waste, coupled with the buzz of flies and squeak of vermin, hinted to her that she was no longer in an apartment, but in a dump cite. __Aiko would admit that she was a bit lacking in the common sense department, but she wasn't so lacking that she was unaware of what her current situation meant. Her mother left her in a heap of garbage, a home for the scum of the Earth because no one wanted to keep them. She had been thrown away. Aiko knew that when trash was thrown away, nobody was expecting it to come back. Nobody wanted it back._

_"I guess this is where it ends, huh?" She muttered, gazing up at the clear blue sky. The sun shining overhead with whips of cotton clouds floated by. Never before had Aiko seen such a beautiful day. However, for some reason, she could find no happiness in her heart to enjoy it._

_Aiko then, faintly, remembered a voice echoing in her mind. It sounded like her mother's voice. Aiko probably heard this while she was semi-conscious, just before her mother left her to cultivate mold and maggots. Most likely, she was starting to wake up on the way to the dump cite, but after hearing what was said, she fell back asleep._

_"Just go somewhere else. Anywhere is fine. I don't care what you do. Just do it somewhere far away from me. Somewhere where I will never have to look at you again."_

_"...'somewhere far away'...?" Aiko repeated. After a few more hours of staring at the sky, which was now washed in pink, gold, and orange, she clumsily picked herself up with her one good arm, since her other was twisted in an odd direction, and got onto her feet. She could feel something wrong in her chest and arm, but the haziness of her mind seemed to numb whatever pain might have been there. At her mother's last request to her, Aiko decided to follow them and shuffled her feet forward. With no destination in mind, she blindly wandered the streets until she came to the village gate. "Somewhere far away, somewhere far away, somewhere far away." Aiko chanted like a transportation spell. __Her chest felt like it was getting tighter and heaved every time she took even the slightest breath. Speaking was also difficult challenge and she found herself panting after every word. So instead of chanting, she would silently mouth out the words. Aiko moved like a zombie. Her arms swung limply at her side, her knotted hair fell over her face as she kept her head down, and she slowly stumbled around, as if unsure on how to put one foot in front of the other._

___Aiko figured that the fastest way to get out of the village was to hitch a ride in one of the caravans that passed by. Unnoticed, she climbed into a sleeping merchant's caravan and hid herself under the tarpaulin. Days passed and Aiko's plan seemed to be running smoothly without a hitch, however, once the caravan reached the desert and the sun shined full throttle, things started to go wrong. The heat did a wonderful job of making the merchants extra irritated; they would practically explode with frustration at the smallest things, like where that disgusting stench was coming from. Aiko hadn't bathed after she was abandoned, so the smell of garbage still clung to her. The merchants stopped the caravan, got out, and then proceeded to tare apart the caravan by violently hauling the cargo out of the caravan in an attempt to find the source of the odour. And once they found her, they promptly tossed her into a cactus bush and rode away, muttering under their breath about how annoying it was for vermin to always cling to their cart._

___As Aiko lay there in the prickly plants, needles stabbing into her burning skin, she wondered if she was far away enough for her mother to be happy. The world spun and swirled, erasing the lines that defined the land and sky, the plants and animals, the sand and rocks, until it was all one big blur. She closed her eyes, deciding that once she woke up from her nap, she would start moving again and continue on her journey. However, when Aiko did reopen her eyes, she noticed that she was no longer in the middle of nowhere, but a shockingly white room. She also noticed that she was now covered with bandages and had a tube sticking out of the arm that wasn't in a cast. A woman wearing a white dress and cap walked in with a clipboard and introduced herself as the head nurse. The nurse mentioned something about a broken arm and rib, concussion, dehydration, sunburn, and coma, but Aiko wasn't really listening until the nurse asked her where her parents were. _

___"..." Aiko was silent for a moment but slowly turned her head to gaze out the window. "Far away. In a place far away." She whispered._

___Misinterpreting her response, the nurse assumed that her parents must have been dead and that Aiko was saying that they were in heaven. "Oh, you poor thing!" the nurse wailed. "Don't worry, everything will be okay. I'm sure we can find someone to take you in. I'll do everything in my power to make sure you have a happy life. Now, what's your name, Sweetie?"_

___Name. Name... What was it? Did she ever have one? Did her mother ever give her one? 'Kid'? 'Brat'? 'Thief'? ____'Cockroach'? _'Scum'? Were those names? But since she was going to start a new life, she might as well have a new name, and there was one in particular that she liked. She averted her eyes from the scenery outside and looked the nurse straight in the eye. "Aiko," she declared. "My name is Aiko."

___Soon after Aiko had awoken from her coma of apparently three months, she was kicked to the streets since they couldn't find a family to take her and the orphanage was full. Even though the nurse said she would do everything in her power to ensure that Aiko had a happy life, Aiko was neither upset nor bitter about the broken promise. She quickly concluded that it was stupid on her part to actually believe the words of a stranger when it is just human nature to spout empty words of condolence to a pitiful person in order to boost their own self-esteem for being such a caring person. She walked down the dirt road, curiously evaluating her new home. There were small shops, plain houses, and normal people leading their everyday lives. Aside from the climate, it appeared to be the same as her old village. But would the people in this village be the same as the people in her old village? Aiko looked up at the sky. What a stupid question. She frowned. Even if the environment changed, even if the situation changed, people were still the same: selfish, arrogant, and prideful; always looking out for their own self-interest, whether it be consciously or unconsciously._

___As she continued on her stroll, she saw a flash of red and a muffled sound. Aiko stopped in her tracks and took another glance at the crimson blur. It was a little boy, probably a couple years younger than herself, with deep red hair who was sitting on the swings, whimpering like an abandoned puppy in the rain. ____She silently approached the boy, her legs moving on their own, and asked, "Hey, why are you crying?"_

_______._

___How pitiful._

___._

___._

___._

___He was just like her._

___._

* * *

**Thank you for reading and ****I hope you enjoyed it! Keep tuned for the next chapter.**

**Hariganegakure: Village Hidden in the Wire**

**Yukata: A light cotton kimono (worn during the summer)**

**Obi: A broad sash worn around the waist of a kimono**

**Obijime: A thin rope attached to an obi**

**Tatami: Straw matting used as a floor covering especially in a Japanese house**

**Futon: A Japanese quilted mattress rolled out on the floor for use as a bed **


	2. Voice

**Hello everyone! Sorry for the very long wait. My only excuse is that I'm a procrastinator, which isn't really an excuse at all...**

**Well, anyway, here is Chapter 2. Enjoy!**

"Talking"

_Flashback, Writing_

_**Sound**_

* * *

Chapter 2: Voice

Buried in paperwork was Gaara furiously reading reports, stamping documents, and scribbling his signature on said papers. After hours of non-stop work in the office, his head ached and eyes were dry from staring at the tiny font of countless papers, and he felt like he was beginning to lose blood circulation in his legs from sitting for so long. To put it bluntly, he was feeling tired and irritated. Gaara leaned back in his chair and for probably the one hundredth time that day, he rubbed his eyes, massaged his temples, and wiggled his feet. He wanted to rest at home, but he didn't want to deal with Aiko. To go home, or not to go home, that is the question.

"Hey, Gaara!" Temari shouted as she came bursting through the door.

"There's something called knocking, you know." he informed her, not bothering to lift his eyes from the papers.

"Whatever! There's something important that you need to hear!"

"Kagekaze-sama!" another voice interrupted while carrying a stack of papers and folders. "Here's some more things that need your approval! They must be finished by 4:00 P.M. today! It concerns Hariganegakure!"

The door opened a third time to reveal Kankuro, "Yo, Gaara! You free? Great! I'm going out with friends for a drink! I know it's not really your thing but you could use some R&R. So, what do ya say?"

"Kazekage-sama, here are the reports you requested." Baki stepped into the room as well. "Also, the Council decided to have a meeting in 15 minutes that you must attend."

"Gaara, listen to me!" Temari commanded.

"Kazekage-sama, the papers!" the secretary urged.

"Come on, Bro! You know you wanna!" Kankuro continued.

"The meeting, Kazekage-sama!" Baki reminded, pointing to the clock.

Gaara banged on the desk with his fist, "Quiet!"

Everyone was immediately silenced; it was rare that the red-headed Kazekage ever raised his voice.

"I've had enough. Please leave my office."

"Gaara! This is-" protested Temari.

He raised his hand as a motion for her to stop talking, "Important, yes, you've said it before. However, not important enough that I feel willing to deal with it right now. Please tell me about it later."

Temari froze, shocked that Gaara, a Kazekage who always strived to be the best that he could be by staying informed and being open-minded, refused to listen to her. She made a movement to open her mouth again but was stopped by a hand on her shoulder. She turned around and saw Kankuro shaking his head, a sign that there was no convincing him otherwise when he was agitated. Temari sighed and nodded in understanding. Temari, Kankuro, and Baki filed out, however, one person remained.

"B-but Kazekage-sama," the secretary squeaked. "the Council says that it's critical that they get your signature on this."

Gaara slowly lifted his head and threw a strong cold glare at the man who dared try to continue his plea after he had clearly told them to leave. He grabbed his approval stamp and punched the red ink onto the paper without reading it. "There, now you can leave."

The secretary scurried out of the office like a puppy with its tail between its legs. As the door slammed shut, Gaara let out a sigh of relief, and slouching back into his chair, he fell asleep.

* * *

(The next morning - 2:00 A.M.)

Gaara stepped through the front door and headed for his room. Because he had taken a nap, he had fallen behind on his work, and therefore, had to stay back at the office for an extra two hours. He figured he could squeeze in a couple of hours of sleep in his bed before he had to return to the office since sleeping in a stiff chair wasn't doing any favors for his back.

"Ah, Gaara," called his wife. "Can I talk to you?"

It was unusual for Aiko to be up at such a late, or early, hour, but he kept walking, completely ignoring her existence.

Aiko clenched her fists and pressed her lips into a thin line, "Gaara!"

The Kazekage stopped in his tracks, surprised at her volume because it was even more rare for her than it was for him.

"We-we need to talk." He continued to stand there but didn't turn around to face her. However, that was enough to tell her that he was listening. "Gaara... are you angry at me? Did I do something wrong? Please tell me. Please talk to me. I don't want us to keep ignoring this and act as if nothing is wrong. I don't want to do it any more." Aiko begged.

He sighed, "Is that all? Don't start this again. I'm going back out. You know I don't have the patience for this now." he said as he turned around and began walking towards the front door.

"Gaara! Please wait! I just can't help but think that ever since you became the Kazekage, it has taken a toll on both of us." she pleaded in an attempt to get his attention. And she did.

Gaara whipped around and stared at Aiko, "Are you saying that you don't like my job as Kazekage?"

"N-No. No, th-that's not-"

"Then what is it? What's the problem?"

"I-" She looked down at her feet, "I just want you to spend more time with me..." she confessed.

He glared in irritation at her response. "Do you think it's easy being Kazekage?" he questioned. "Do you think I haven't wanted personal time for myself? Do you-"

"Please!" She interrupted, not wanting him to voice any more negative accusations as it violently tore at her heart. "Please understand... I don't want us to be like this any more. I want us to rebuild what we had together, before all this." she said, motioning to his Kazekage robe. "I want my lover back. I want my friend back. I want my Gaara back!"

His face remained impassive, despite her passionate cry for his return, "Maybe it's you who doesn't understand." Gaara placed his hand on his chest and stated assertively, "This is the way I've always been. I am who I am. You can't change that. It's you who married me. So, one way or another, you have to accept that."

Horrified at the coldness of his words, Aiko was rendered almost speechless. Her hair fell in front of her face as she lowered her head. She gripped her skirt until her knuckles turned white and bit her lip until she pierced the skin. Aiko's shoulders shook in anger and frustration. "Then..." she muttered in a low voice. Her head shot up as her burning gaze, filled with tears, pierced him and screamed, "Then I wish you had never become Kazekage so that I wouldn't have to realize that!"

And with those words, Gaara finally snapped. _**Slap.**_ That was the sound that reverberated through the room as a hard hand met a wet cheek. It was the sound that was then followed by a deadly silence and a shocked stare. Aiko began to feel a sharp sting and lifted a quivering hand to her face. Gaara had never hit her before. He hated violence, so why? Her heated stare was now replaced by a glassy look as she wondered what had just happened.

"Stop being so selfish!" he continued. "This is my dream, you know! The people of the village that use to hate me now love me! I've worked so hard for this, and all you've done is think about yourself and complain! Aren't you supposed to be my ally? Why are you betraying me?" Gaara ran his hand through his hair and tugged at it in aggravation, "If I had known that it was going to be like this!... then I wish I had never met you."

Aiko's eyes widened. Her mind completely stalled and crashed as she tried to process his disdainful words. Those words... Those words were the only ones that she never wanted to hear. She could swallow and accept anything else, but that.

He stormed away and slammed the front door shut behind him on his way out, making a loud _**bang.**_ And all was quiet.

Her eyes were glued to the door as her knees gave way. Aiko wasn't sure if everything was there, if she was there. She felt the floor, but at the same time, she didn't. It was like she was floating, but frozen in place. Everything felt surreal, like a dream. But this was a very bad dream, a nightmare. Through the early morning and into the afternoon, she sat there, not knowing what to do. What should she do? Her world, Gaara, has moved on without her. She was no longer an oasis to quench his thirst or a soothing breeze to calm him down; she was a dead-weight shackled to his ankle, a burdening boulder pressing into his back. He was her everything, and now, she had nothing.

**_Knock, knock, knock._**

The sudden noise alerted Aiko to the door. She lift her head, not knowing if it was an angered Gaara or a cold Gaara. She swayed towards the door and concentrated her remaining strength in her grip of the door nob. Aiko fumbled with the piece of brass for a bit until she was finally able to tug at the door just enough to crack it open. She saw a Suna headband, a beige flak jacket, and a kunai holster. She easily identified this person as a Suna shinobi since she use to be one in her younger days, before marrying Gaara, and wondered what business he had here.

"Aiko-sama," the sinobi addressed, revealing a scroll. "The Kazekage and Council would appreciate your cooperation. Please read and return this with your answer by tomorrow." the sinobi instructed. He handed her the rolled up document, bowed, and disappeared in a poof of smoke. Unraveling the parchment in curiosity, her eyes widened; it was a report that contained all the information needed for a negotiation mission in Hariganegakure. The last paper, the one at the very back of the pile, was an agreement form with a dotted line for her name and the Kazekage's red stamp of approval.

Should she stay? Should she go? Her mother told her not to come back and she wanted to respect her mother's last request to her... However, Gaara wanted her to take this mission, so perhaps, completing it would allow her to get back in his good graces. Perhaps, he would be happy with her. Perhaps, he would consider her to be important once again. Who did she love more: Gaara or her mother? Well, the answer was obvious. Aiko mentally apologized and made her way to the Kazekage tower to give her reply.

* * *

Aiko hesitated to knock on the door of her husband's office, afraid that he was still angry with her. She knew that she had gone too far by saying that she wished that he had never became Kazekage. She just wanted him to pay attention to her... He was right.; she was selfish. As his wife, it was her duty to support him in everything he did. However, even when she did that, she still felt empty and lonely inside. And at times, she couldn't bring herself to truly feel happy for Gaara when he chose his job over her. Was she a failure as a wife? ...Maybe. She held the paper even tighter with both hands, as if in prayer. Yes, she was making the right decision. Gathering her courage, she raised a small fist, about to knock on the wooden door, when suddenly, a long hand grasped her shoulder. She released a high-pitched squeak and swatted the hand away. It was the secretary.

"My apologies Aiko-sama!" he said, frantically bowing.

"Oh no, don't worry about it. You just took me by surprise is all. So please, raise your head." she replied, attempting to comfort the lanky man.

The secretary looked up with watering eyes, "Ah, Aiko-sama!" he babbled. "What a kind lady you are! If only everyone was like you, then there would be no war and everyone would live in peace! The Kazekage is surely a lucky man to have you for his wife!"

Aiko gave an uncertain smile, "Ummm, thank you. But really, you're exaggerating." She turned her head toward the window and watched the sand blow, "If only he could think of me in the same way..." she murmured.

"What was that, Aiko-sama?"

"Oh nothing. It was nothing." she assured. "But, speaking of the Kazekage, I'm here to return this document. Do I give this to you or the Kazekage? I've never done a negotiation mission before so I'm not sure how different it is from a normal mission. In fact, I'm not quite sure why I'm even being assigned to this mission. Why not Temari or someone else?"

"No fears, Aiko-sama!" he pounded his chest with his fist in pride. "I shall do the honors of answering all of your questions! As secretary, I know all the happenings around here! First and foremost, you are supposed to give the document to the Kazekage, however, since he is on lunch break, I will gladly take it off your hands and give it to him when I see him. Second, negotiation missions are not so different from regular missions. Except for the fact that you will have guards, you are not allowed to fight, and the livelihood of the village is resting in your hand by trying to maintain a placid relationship with a violent Harigane who seems to be intent on destroying us. It's basically your average C ranked mission. Just go and come back. So, no pressure."

The way he described the responcibility seemed to strongly contradict him saying 'no pressure.' Aiko thought that she could feel the pressure increase tenfold.

"And third," the secretary continued. "the reason you have been chosen is because you were, originally, a villager from Harigane. The Council and Kazekage aren't sure how well Harigane will react to this, but they are hoping that because of your origins, they will cut you some slack if worst comes to worst."

"What do you mean by 'worst comes to worst'?"

"Oh, you know, torture, execution, brainwashing, enslavement, and things of the like. Or, they could react more violently than ever before because they might see you as a traitor for leaving the village in the first place, but who knows! Just good luck, that's all you'll need."

Aiko shook with nervousness, "Ah... I see... Well, thank you for that... informative explanation. I'll try my best." She has been a retired kunoichi ever since she got married because she didn't want Gaara to worry, so it's been a long time since she had seen some action. It felt like her first mission as a genin all over again.

"No problem, Aiko-sama. You can talk to me anytime." He took the document from her and began to walk away, but after a few yards, he remembered that he forgot to tell her something, "And one more thing," he mentioned as he turned around to face her direction. "The Council would like you to leave as soon as possible; preferably tomorrow. That will be all." And with that, the secretary was out of sight.

* * *

Gaara was sitting at a small table by the window, munching on roasted pork buns and stir-fry noodles. They didn't taste very good; the flavor was either too bland or too sweet. Even Aiko's cooking was better than this. He stopped chewing. Aiko... His face contorted slightly, now his mood was worse than ever. He put his chopsticks down, having absolutely no appetite.

A shadow appeared over his table. "Gaara!" He looked up to see his sister, Temari, standing over him with her hands on her hips. "I finally found you."

He averted his eyes back to his food, "Temari, I'm-"

"'Not in the mood,' yeah yeah, I got it. But you know what? I DON'T CARE. You may be the Kazekage, but I'm still your big sister so you're going to listen to me whether you like it or not." She pulled out the empty chair opposite to his and sat down. "I hate beating around the bush, so I'll say this straight: You better take care of that girl, because one day, she will disappear from your sight, and once you realize it, you won't be able to get her back. What on Earth do you think you're doing? Would it kill you to treasure her a bit more?"

"Who is this 'girl' which you speak of?" Gaara questioned, his eyes not leaving his half-eaten plate of noodles.

Temari banged her fist on the table, making the cups and plates clang together. "Don't play dumb with me, Gaara. Who else would I be talking about other than your only wife, Aiko? What happened to the Gaara that was always mumbling during missions because they 'took time away from being with Aiko'?"

"... Things have changed..." he muttered.

"Huh? What's changed? What is it about today that makes it different from the today of three years ago? Is it your situation? Is it Aiko? Or is it you? Isn't it you who's changed?"

Gaara shifted his vision towards the window, "... Stop it..."

"Stop what, Gaara? Stop telling you the things that you know are true but don't want to accept? Stop showing you the faults in your perception of yourself that you don't want to acknowledge? Well, guess what? If I don't slap some sense into you, nobody will. That's my job as your big sister and Kankuro's too much of a wuss to do it. Gaara, this will be the last thing I say to you today, so at least look at me."

He turned his head and lifted his gaze so that they were looking each other in the eye.

"Let me ask you this," Temari began, "For what reason did you become the Kazekage? Because I'm sure as Hell that it wasn't _just_ to make amends for the havoc that happened in the past... Honestly," she groaned while running her fingers through her hair, "what kind of man are you when you can't even protect the girl who loves you the most?"

* * *

(That night)

It was abnormal that the Kazekage could leave work so early. Temari probably had something to do with it. He remembered that one time, when she hid all his paperwork in a plant pot so that he could go out for his own birthday celebration. He wondered where she might have hidden it this time and for what reason. Also, Kankuro had given him one red rose and one white rose, tied together by a silk, blue ribbon just before he had left the building. It was likely that this had to do with Aiko.

He opened the door and was surprised to see his wife standing in front of him, beaming, something he hasn't seen in a while. Had she forgotten their fight from early this morning? He was still a bit angry, but he supposed that he could play along. Her hair was delicately held up with a silver flower hairpin, decorated with small pearls. She was dressed in a snow-white dress that accentuated her slender body and soft curves. The bottom of the dress flowed around her ankles and the intricate lace straps covered the creamy skin of her shoulders. It was a relatively plain design, but somehow, Aiko still looked stunning in it. He recognized it as the one he bought for her on their honeymoon. She rarely wore it since she said that it was only for special occasions. However, he could always catch her gazing at it longingly in her closet. So what was the special occasion?

"Welcome home, Gaara!" she greeted cheerfully.

He stared at her face that seemed to glow with happiness. She was truly radiant. Gaara's heart skipped a beat and he remembered his confrontation with Temari during lunch. Maybe he could try to treat Aiko a little more gently. He nodded at her in acknowledgement and handed her the two roses, "Here."

Her eyes sparkled like gold and, if it was at all possible, her grin grew until he thought it would fall off. "Thank you. Do you know what a white rose and a red rose signify?"

He shook his head.

"It means 'unity.' I hope our souls will be tied together for... a very long time, just like these roses."

"... Huh." Gaara muttered.

"Now," Aiko began as she took his hand in hers, "please, take off your Kazekage robes and get dressed in your normal clothes. Oh, and remember to put on our wedding ring. When you're done, join me for dinner, okay?"

Gaara raised a non-existent eyebrow at her instructions. He wasn't quite sure if he wanted to keep trying to be nice to her today.

She grasped his hand firmly, "Please... just this once. Do it for me." Aiko lifted her head and smiled sadly, "It's my birthday." she whispered.

He kept a stiff face, not giving anything away, until finally, he sighed, removed his shoes, and made his way upstairs to change.

Aiko giggled in delight to see her husband being unusually obedient at her request. Maybe he did care... nah. Temari-chan and Kankuro-kun most likely put him up to this; they were always worried about her. She really couldn't ask for a better in-law duo. She made a strong mental note to thank them tomorrow before she left.

She heard the stairs creak from behind her and twirled around to see Gaara wearing casual black pants and shirt. Aiko pulled him towards the table, fancy china, silverware, food and all, and had a peaceful candlelit dinner. She did most of the talking, but once in a while, he would offer a 'Hm' or 'Huh', and she would give a light-hearted chuckle and agree.

After their meal, Aiko led him to the roof to watch the moon in a comfortable silence while she lay her hand over his. When her skin started to develop goosebumps from the chilly air, she suggested that they return inside and go to bed. As Gaara was about to walk in the opposite direction, towards his own bedroom, Aiko caught him by the hem of his shirt and requested that they sleep together.

He gave her an incredulous look, but she smiled and whispered, "Please, just this once." And he reluctantly conceded.

The couple lay in her bedroom, which use to be their bedroom, and tried to peer at each other in the dark. Aiko clutched his left hand in hers and snuggled it to her chest, a ring adorning both of their fingers.

Tears leaked through her eyes, cascaded down her cheeks, and onto her pillow, making it slightly damp. "Thank you." she murmured. "Thank you so much, Gaara. Today, my birthday, was so much fun. This, is what I've always wanted." Aiko held him even tighter, "Tonight has been so wonderful. I wish that we could always stay like this, in peace. I don't want it to end. I'm so... happy..." and with that, she fell asleep.

* * *

(Early the next morning)

Gaara blinked once, then twice, awakening from his light slumber. The room was dimly lit with the soft glow of the rising sun, slowly climbing over the dunes of sand to make the sky a breathtaking magenta and lavender. He glanced around to see a clock that read 5:24 A.M. At that moment, Gaara noticed two things: One, he was running late for work because he usually woke up at 5:00 A.M. sharp. And two, this was not his clock, he didn't have one since he wakes himself up. It was then that he realized two more things: This was not his room, and the weight he felt on his body wasn't his imagination. He was in Aiko's room, and draped over him was said person.

She was quietly snuggling into his chest in search of warmth and wrapped her arms around his waist, as if trying to prevent him from leaving. He didn't want Aiko to give him one of those looks when he tried to leave, the look of an abandoned puppy in a cardboard box. He hated that look. It always made him feel... guilty. In the beginning, that look would sway him and he was practically wrapped around her little finger without her even realizing it. Can you imagine? The Kazekage, the most powerful ninja in Suna, at the mercy of a weak 5' girl? Laughable. From then on, he decided that he needed to take back control of his emotions in order to continue being the strong, reliable leader for his people, even if that meant giving his wife the cold shoulder every once in a while. The village needed him; Aiko could wait. He pulled his legs to the side of the bed, sat up, and was about to stand when he felt a tug at his sleeve. Aiko was still fast asleep, her face now buried in the blanket, but her hand had subconsciously grabbed onto him. Gaara promptly brushed her off and went to go get ready. As the door closed, Aiko opened her eyes and groped the air with the hand that he so carelessly threw off like dirt on his shoulder; she had been awake the entire time.

After about 15 minutes, Gaara was putting on his black sandals and reaching for the door knob.

"Gaara?" a wispy voice came from behind him without warning.

He whipped around and lifted his sand from the floor, ready to capture whoever the intruder was, but found the so-called threat to be his wife. He lowered the sand and the tension in his shoulders evaporated, but how did she manage to sneak up behind him? He's the Kazekage for God's sake; he should have been able to sense her! He closed his eyes and massaged his temples in annoyance.

"Gaara..." she repeated.

He looked up. Aiko had a thin shawl wrapped around her shoulders and her nightgown seemed to float around her ankles. Her shoulders were bony, her skin was an ashen color, the rings under her eyes were slightly purple, her lips were a thin, pale line, her hair no longer sported a glossy shine, and her eyes were a dull yellow, they looked tired. She seemed so fragile and brittle. What happened to the cheerful girl from last night?

"You're going to work..." Aiko said, more as an observation than a question.

Gaara turned away and opened the door, "Yeah."

They both stood there as a long pause hung in the air. He didn't understand why it felt so awkward and tense but for some reason, he felt like he should let her have the last word before leaving.

"... I see... Well, I hope you have a nice day."

He replied with another, "Yeah." As he started to move out the door, Aiko gave him weak smile and waved.

"Goodbye, Gaara." she whispered.

Once the door clicked shut, the Kazekage pondered those strange words. Isn't it suppose to be, 'See you later'?

* * *

**Yay! Finally finished Chapter 2! But the thing is... It's probably going to take me even longer to finish Chapter 3. Sorry!**


	3. Discovery

**Thank you so much for waiting! This chapter wasn't worth the wait, but I tried!**

"Talking"

_Flashback, Writing_

_**Sound**_

* * *

Chapter 3: Discovery

As Gaara was patrolling around the village during his break, Temari's words still rung in his head like church bells.

_"For what reason did you become the Kazekage? Because I'm sure as Hell that it wasn't __just_ to make amends for the havoc that happened in the past... Honestly, what kind of man are you when you can't even protect the girl who loves you the most?"  


He didn't quite understand why she asked him that question. Didn't he become Kazekage so that everyone would acknowledge him? But why was it that he wanted to be acknowledged again? So that he could prove that he wasn't a monster? So that he wouldn't be alone? For some reason, that explanation didn't seem to sit well with him, or at least, it didn't seem like the entire truth. He wondered why.

Suddenly, a loud shout interrupted his thoughts. A boy with shaggy brown hair ran up to him from behind, closely followed by a group of five or six other kids, all about 7-year-olds.

"Kazekage-sama!"

Gaara was slightly alarmed at how frantic the kids seemed, but kept his composure since he didn't want too frighten them, "Yes?"

A girl carrying a teddy-bear spoke up, "Is something wrong with Aiko-sensei?"

Gaara paused, "... 'Aiko-sensei'?" He hadn't heard that one before.

"Yeah," said another boy. "she always reads us stories, sings, and plays games with us. But sometimes, she'll teach us stuff about Suna and other villages."

"She also talks about plants and animals." added another.

"And medicine!"

"She also gives us advice!"

"But, her favorite thing to talk about is definitely you!" a couple of girls giggled. All the kids nodded in agreement.

"Anyway," the boy with shaggy hair cut in, getting everyone back on track with their initial concern, "is she okay, Kazekage-sama?"

Gaara was confused, "Why would you think that she wasn't okay?"

"... Because..." the boy looked down, sadness in his eyes, and the children became quiet. "Yesterday, after a lesson, she told us that it was the last day that she could teach us. We asked her why, and she said that she was going away for a long time and didn't know when she would come back. Kazekage-sama, why is she leaving? Is she sick? Did something bad happen?"

Gaara didn't want to admit that he had no idea what they were talking about and had no knowledge of her plan to leave. All he could do was assure them that there was nothing to worry about and headed for home.

When he stepped through the front door, he called, "I'm home." Something Gaara hadn't done in a long time, but there was no reply.

He thought that the subsequent silence was strange because usually, Aiko would come rushing down at the drop of a hat. However, this time, she was nowhere to be seen. The house felt empty and cold. All the lights were turned off and an eerie stillness floated through the air. It was unsettling.

Where was she? Gaara checked the dining room, the kitchen, the living room, and the bathroom. Finally, he came to her bedroom, their old bedroom. For some reason, he had wanted to avoid this room. It felt like, lying beyond that door was something he didn't want to know. As if it were calling out to him to find, and that was what scared him the most.

There was a pain in his chest and a bitter taste in his mouth. He softly nudged open the door to find that the room was almost barren, save for the three cardboard boxes in the corner. The sheets on the bed were gone and so were the jewelry on the dresser, the clothes in the closet, and her toothbrush and shampoo in the master bathroom. Even the photographs that she treasured so dearly were missing from the walls. This led him to suspect one thing as he cautiously made his way toward the boxes. Once he opened the first box, his suspicions were confirmed. Lying beneath a blue notebook was all of her belongings. Was she planning on divorcing him and moving out of Suna? His face contorted. He didn't like that thought... Wait... Why was that? Why did he not like the idea of her leaving? Isn't that what he always wished for when he came home? For no one to annoy and nag him after a trying day at the office? Some peace and quiet? No, that didn't seem right. It... it had to do with some agreement he made... but what was it?

Gaara was about to leave to clear his head when he noticed a weight in his hand. He glanced down and realized that he had accidentally grabbed the blue notebook. It was very weathered with yellowing pages and the cover a faded blue. He didn't recognize this object and had never seen Aiko with it. Since he had nothing else better to do and Aiko probably wouldn't leave without her stuff, Gaara figured that a peek couldn't hurt and began to read the first entry.

* * *

**Sorry for the short chapter! I wanted to save the journal entries for the next chapter since those will take a long time and I wanted chapter 3 out as soon as possible (you guys are probably scoffing at me since it took so long to produce this pathetic chapter).**

**The journal will go more in depth about their past together. So, in all, it will be covering the meeting, the happy moments, and the fallout.**

**Thank you for sticking with me and see you in Chapter 4: Realization!**


	4. Realization

**Hello. You've probably heard this a thousand times before, but I'll say it again since it's part of my character. I'm sorry it took so long. Please forgive me.**

_Flashback, Writing_

**_'Thought'_**

* * *

Chapter 4: Realization

_April 19, XXXX _(20 years ago)

_It has been a year now since I've left Hariganegakure. I hope that this will be far enough. With some extra change I've found lying around on the street, I've decided that my first purchase in Sunagakure will be this journal. I hope that by the time I become old and grey (if I make it that long), this book will be filled with many happy memories... or at least, the majority will be happy memories. And since that's my wish, I definitely can't show anyone this or else it won't come true. _

_Yesterday, I met a really pretty boy with a teddy-bear. His skin was like porcelain, his hair was like red rose petals, and his eyes were like a pale sky blue. But in the end, the thing that I liked best was his smile. For some reason, it made me feel warm. However, it might have just been the heat. I told him that I would play with him today, so I'm on my way to the playground now. I also haven't found a place to sleep or anything to eat yet. Since I renamed myself, I don't want to do anything that might make people hate me, so I won't steal. I hope I'll be able to find some food soon._

_._

_August 4, XXXX _(20 years ago)

_Last night, Gaara and I were sitting on the roof. Gaara was crying. It was because we went to apologize to that girl but she scowled at us and called him a monster. I really wanted to punch her in the face for making Gaara sad. But, I knew that doing that wouldn't make the situation any better so I just bit my lip and comforted Gaara. Then, a ninja came out and tried to hurt Gaara and me. Gaara killed him in order to protect me... But, it turned out that the ninja was Yashamaru-san. Yashamaru-san was really kind to Gaara and seemed to be the only one who loved him. He was even nice to me and would pack lunches for us. Gaara killed Yashamaru-san. Everything was a blur. Gaara's forehead was bleeding and he was screaming. _

_We both cried a lot that night._

_._

_August 12, XXXX _(20 years ago)

_Ever since the 4th, Gaara has been really clingy. He stays with me the entire day and won't leave my side for anything other than the bathroom or food, which he brings back so we can eat together. He's probably worried that I'll leave or betray him, so he's keeping an eye on me. But, I can't say that I dislike it. This is the most attention anyone has ever payed to me. _

_So... is it bad to say that I'm a bit happy?_

_._

_**August 20, XXXX** _(20 years ago)

_Today is a very important day, so I put the date in bold. Earlier this afternoon, I told him my secret. I was certain that Gaara would be upset, but since he's a kind person, he understood and forgave me. _

_Now we're going to be together forever!_

.

August 20th. Gaara remembered that day clearly. The day that she told him her secret was very important to him as well.

* * *

(Flashback)

_As the two children walked down the empty street, hand-in-hand, the red-haired boy came to an abrupt stop, jerking the attached girl to a halt as well._

_"Hm? What's wrong, Gaara?" Aiko asked._

_"..." the boy mumbled as he stared at his sandals, but she couldn't hear what he said._

_"Eh? What did you say?"_

_"... Why?"_

_The girl gave a confused look, "'Why'? 'Why' what?"_

_Gaara's head shot up and looked up into her eyes since she was taller than him, "Why do you play with me? Why did you play with me when you could have played with other kids?"_

_Aiko smiled, "What? Is this some indirect way of telling me that you don't want to hang out anymore?" she teased._

_"No, that's not it!" Gaara frantically threw his arms up in the air as he seemed to be at a loss of what to say. Aiko thought it was the cutest thing to see him so frazzled._

_"Just kidding~!" she sang as she skipped ahead. "I actually do know what you're asking. But..." she trailed off, "do you really want to know the answer?"_

_He hesitantly nodded. This was the first time he has ever heard Aiko sound so serious and detached._

_Aiko sighed, "I guess it was inevitable... but I just hoped that it wouldn't be so soon." She turned around to look at Gaara and rose her hand. "Gaara, in this world, there are three kinds of unfortunate people. First," she pointed to her index finger, "there are unfortunate people who look at those who are better off and in feeling sorry for themselves, they give up. They continue to consider themselves unfortunate, so they stay unfortunate. That kind of unfortunate person doesn't even make an effort to get back on their feet after they've been knocked down. They will never amount to anything."_

_Aiko then pointed to her middle finger, "Second, there are unfortunate people who look at themselves and think, 'I'm not dead yet, so all is not lost!' That kind of unfortunate person blames no one, seeks to better themselves, and learn from their mistakes. They take everything in stride and remain optimistic. Even if the world beats them down, they always get back up, and keep on walking forward. They will always amount to something... But that's not me. That's just who I wish I could be."_

_She held up her ring finger, "I am the third type. In this third kind, there are unfortunate people who look at those who are even worse off than themselves and think, 'At least I'm not that guy' to make themselves feel better. That kind of unfortunate person..." Aiko lowered her head. She peered at her hand, and then turned it into a fist, imbedding her nails into her palm, "is definitely the **worst**." She spat the last with such disdain and anger, that Gaara was slightly taken aback. "That kind of person who looks down on others and sneers, as if they had the right to make light of another's suffering and pain, don't even have the right to live. They may gain something materialistically, if anything. But emotionally, socially, spiritually, in all the ways that actually count, they have nothing." Aiko grinned weakly, "That's the kind of person I am, Gaara. I got close to you and exploited your situation in order to boost my own ego." Tears started to roll down her face. Everything was blurry so she couldn't tell what kind of face Gaara was making, but she continued to talk, "I used you. I took advantage of my most important person without a second thought. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, Gaara."_

_The two children stood in the middle of the road for a long time, the girl sniffling, and the boy contemplating, until the boy lifted his arms and wound them tightly around the girl. Aiko subdued the sounds she made to hiccups, and whispered, "Gaara... I'm sorry. Even though you're a really gentle person, it's okay to hate me. I won't blame you." Aiko flashed a sad smile, "You must feel betrayed, right Gaara? That I wasn't the person you thought I was. That I wasn't the big-hearted, pure person that you wanted. That you had been waiting for. I'm sorry. I didn't live up to your hopes and expectations. I'm sorry." she kept repeating over and over again. "That's why,__" Aiko lifted her head to gaze into Gaara's eyes, "it's okay... if you want to kill me. I am prepared for any punishment." As she searched his eyes for any sign as to how he was feeling, Gaara remained silent and still. However, he was also searching his friend's eyes. She really couldn't tell what was going through his mind. Maybe he was contemplating the best way to kill her?_

_"Aiko-chan..." Gaara began after a long pause, "do you... love me?"_

_Aiko's eyes widened and her lips parted in astonishment. He never used that word before! Especially not after Yashamaru! But, this just confirmed her previous thought. He was definitely going to kill her. There was no way to save herself, so she figured it was best to die being honest since she owed at least that much to her most important person._

_Aiko softly stroked his cheek and smiled her best smile, "Yeah, I love you the most in the whole wide world!"_

_"Why?"_

_"Hm?"_

_"Why do you love me? How do you know?"_

_"Hmmm..." Aiko thought for a few seconds and chuckled, "Who knows? Maybe it's because you're the first person who ever needed me. Or maybe it's because you're the first person who ever smiled at me. Well, whatever the reason, I just love you, and that's that." She confidently concluded. "And for your other question... how do I know? ... Hmmmmmm..." Her face scrunched up as she carefully tried to piece together the words for what she wanted to express. Her honey eyes then popped open and she gave her second reply, "I know because I want you to be happy!" Aiko grinned, "I think that's what love is, wishing for another's happiness and wanting to protect them no matter what."_

_Gaara stiffened at the response and retracted his arms from their embrace. "... I see. So that's what it was..." he muttered to himself. He swiftly captured her face in his hands and pulled her closer so that their noses were barely touching, "So that's what the look in your eyes was." he said._

_"Eh? What look?"_

_"In your eyes, there was some sparkling light. It was really warm. I didn't know what it was, but now, I know..." Gaara's sand slithered up her legs and shackled her to the ground so she couldn't flee. His voice suddenly became cold and stern, "Therefore, your punishment shall be..."_

_This was it. Aiko closed her eyes, expecting to be killed with Sabaku Soso, since she didn't want her eyeballs to pop out when her body was crushed._

_He pinched her cheeks to make her open her eyes. Yashamaru once told him that eye-contact was the best way to make someone understand what you wanted to say, "... to be my friend forever."_

_... Huh? What was that? What did he just say?_

_Gaara continued to talk, "You have to be with me at all times and at least stay within earshot of me. So in all, you definitely can't leave me. That will be your punishment. And it's a life sentence, do you hear me?"_

_Aiko couldn't believe her ears. He... Gaara was... forgiving her? Even though Gaara was an extremely tenderhearted boy, her actions are inexcusable on every level!_

_"Are you an crazy?!" she screamed with frustration, her eyes wide with disbelief. "You have no reason to forgive me! After everything that I've said, why on Earth do you still want to be around me?! I am no better than Yashamaru-san or the Kazekage! I-!" Her anger crumbled as tears started to well up, "I don't deserve your mercy..."_

_"Well, starting from the beginning, yes, I probably am crazy. I do have a reason to forgive you; I'm just not going to tell you. I still want to be around you because you are my friend." His tone softened and he offered a small smile, "You are better that Yashamaru and Dad because, in the end, you loved me. And last... It's not mercy; it's a whim."_

_Aiko was speechless. Absolutely stunned as her mouth hung open. Her shy, timid Gaara... This was the first time she had ever seen him so defiant and confident... So... sure... She lowered her head again, "Gaara... are you an idiot?"_

_"If that means having you by my side, then yes." Gaara pointed to the clear blue sky, "I'm the biggest idiot in the entire universe! That's why... won't you be my friend?" He held out his hand for her to grab in the same way she did when they first met. _

_Aiko tilted her head so that her bangs would cover her eyes, she was tired of crying but couldn't will it to stop. She grasped his small hand in hers and pulled herself up as they walked down the road, hand-in-hand._

_"But are you sure you want to be with me forever? I can get pretty annoying sometimes. You might get sick of me before forever is over."_

_"I'll deal with it. But if I do get sick of you and leave, I'll definitely come back."_

_"... Were you even listening to me? I'm the third kind of unfortunate person. I'm the worst. I'm a very evil person." She flailed her arms around to emphasize the word 'evil'._

_"Well... Loneliness is this world's worst kind of pain..." Gaara gazed at the sky thoughtfully and gripped her hand tighter, "Perhaps the companionship of an evil person is preferable to loneliness..."_

_"... Gaara... You say some deep things for a six-year-old..."_

_"Is that a bad thing?"_

_"No... Just an observation."_

* * *

That was the day Gaara discovered that, even though Yashamaru lied to him about most things, the feeling he described as love was real. And after the Fourth Shinobi World War, he was glad to finally learn that Yashamaru never lied except for that one night. This memory, somehow, made his heart feel a little lighter. After reminiscing, Gaara moved on to the next passage.

_._

**_January 19, XXXX _**(19 years ago)

_It's Gaara's birthday today! That's why the date is in bold again! He will be turning 7! That's a lucky number, so I'm sure something good will happen to him this year. I think this may be the first time he has ever had a friend to celebrate his birthday with... Well, it will be the same for me too, so I guess this year is lucky for the both of us! _

_You know, now that I think about it... At first, I thought that this world was filled with nothing but bad, selfish, and cruel humans. And yet, these humans even have the audacity to call Gaara, the only person who has ever smiled at me, a monster. If that's so, then I wish that this world was full of monsters instead of humans. But, more than anything, I think that Gaara's like an angel. I never really believed in God, but if He exists, then I definitely think that Gaara was His gift to me. _

_Kami-sama, thank you very much for letting Gaara be born and allowing me to meet him. _

_I am very happy._

_._

Gaara stifled a chuckle. He had always found it funny how Aiko would treat him like the world's greatest treasure, when everyone else saw him as a relic they wanted to get rid of... But, it was oddly heartwarming to read those words now.

.

**_March 30, XXXX_** (19 years ago)

_Today is my first birthday!... Well, technically, it's my ninth... But it's my first as Aiko. It's also my first with someone who cares about me. So, it kind of feels like I have been reborn. Oh, I almost forgot to mention, Gaara said the cutest thing to me! It was the best present I had ever received! _

_I hope it comes true~!_

_._

The Kazekage's cheeks turned the same color as his hair, a brilliant rosy red. Aiko could be so cute sometimes. Her 'first' birthday was probably more official that the actual proposal and ring.

* * *

(Flashback)

_Two children, each holding one arm of the boy's teddy-bear, walked up the sandy hill outside the village to watch the sun set, a request from the birthday girl. As they lay on their backs and gazed at the ever-changing colors, from lavender to gold to mango to ruby._

_Gaara turned onto his side to face the older girl and whispered, "Hey, Aiko-chan?"_

_She then turned over on her side and answered, "Yeah?"_

_He averted his eyes to the sand as he tried to sort out his words, "Why don't you have a last name?"_

_"Because I don't have a family." she stated simply, as if it were normal._

_"What happened to them?"_

_"Mother... didn't want me anymore. Well, She never wanted me to begin with, but didn't bother to get rid of me until recently. So... yeah."_

_Gaara's sea foam eyes widened in disbelief. How could anyone not want Aiko? She was the sweetest person he had ever met. The one who saved him from his loneliness. She was definitely a blessing. "How is that possible?"_

_"Saaa, who knows? Maybe it was because I was annoying and a troublemaker. Or maybe... it was simply because I was born." quietly muttering the last word, she was filled with a feeling of melancholy as she stared at the empty horizon._

_"But... your name-"_

_"I named myself. When I woke up in the hospital, I decided to leave the old me behind and start anew. I chose 'Aiko', not by what I was, but, more than anything, what I wanted to be..." Aiko scratched the back of her head but didn't bother to try to smile, "He he, sorry for dampening the mood. Thinking about it now, I must seem really pitiful to you, huh? Sorry about that."_

_He didn't like it. He didn't like that look on her face. Like she was going to leave him and go far away. He grasped her hand in his to gain her attention, "Let's get married!"_

_"... Eh?" Aiko was completely dumbfounded at the sudden outburst. What on Earth was he saying?_

_"If we get married, then you can have my last name and we'll be a family! That way, we will always be together! Yashamaru told me so! I definitely won't let you be sad or lonely! I'll do my best to make you happy, so..." the boy trailed off, the words on the tip of his tongue, **'Don't leave me!'**_

_Taken aback at first, she could find no words to respond with. But slowly, silence turned into a warm smile, "Okay."_

_Gaara lifted his head and an embarrassed grin made its way onto his face._

_"I look forward to spending the rest of my life with you, Darling." she said, nuzzling his face._

_Returning the gesture, Gaara thought, **'Yeah, me too, Dear.'**_

* * *

.

_September 6, XXXX (19 years ago)_

_Today wasn't such a good day. Some guy called me "the monster's minion". I wasn't upset about being called a minion; I've been called worse. But saying that Gaara was a monster made me see red. If anybody was a monster, it was me. I spat back that a useless good-for-nothing had no right to criticize my best friend. I guess that made him awfully mad and hit me really hard. Of course, it wasn't as bad as Mother's, but it still hurt. He was probably drunk since I could smell the alcohol in his breath and on his clothes. Regrettably, I wasn't strong enough to beat him. He kicked me until he got bored and left. I didn't tell Gaara about it though. I don't want him to worry. _

_Someday, I'll become a great ninja so that I can protect him. _

_Okay, now that I've written it, it's official!_

_._

Gaara's eyes narrowed. He actually saw those bruises later, but didn't press her about them since he knew how headstrong she could be. It was this incident that spurred him into mercilessly killing anybody and everybody who got in his way. He was determined to eliminate any threat to his and Aiko's happiness. He would become so feared that nobody would dare hurt Aiko. Or at least, that was his plan.

.

_June 25, XXXX (14 years ago)_

_It has been an eventful couple of weeks. Temari-san, Kankuro-san, Gaara, and I went to Konoha to take the Chunin exam. But, actually, we were there for the invasion. During the tournament, Uchiha-san was able to break through Gaara's ultimate defense and hurt him. _

_I'm ashamed of myself. _

_When the attack on the village commenced, I was so caught up in fighting the enemy shinobi, that I eventually lost sight of Gaara as his siblings took him away from the battle to heal his wounds. Once Suna lost and Gaara was admitted into the hospital, I was told that the Shukaku had emerged and Gaara fought Uzumaki-san who had the Kyuubi. I was so angry with myself. I wasn't there for Gaara when he needed me. I couldn't protect him. _

_However, when he woke up, he didn't talk to me very much. He would just give me long stares and spent most of his recovery time contemplating something. I wonder what he was thinking about._

.

_**May 1, XXXX** (11 years ago)_

_Over the past 3 years, Gaara has been working hard to be accepted by Suna. And today, all his efforts have come to fruition. Today, Gaara was named the Kazekage. Those who had previously feared and loathed him now revere and respect him. Sunagakure has finally stepped into the sunlight and realizes Gaara's worth, not as a weapon, but as a person. Gaara is very happy. I am happy as well. But, on the other hand, I'm a bit sad that I will have to share him with everyone else. I hope he will still have time for me._

_It never ceases to amaze me what an impact Uzumaki-san had on Gaara during their fight. I would like to talk with him one day. For him to inspire Gaara and make him see this world from a new perspective, Uzumaki-san is surely an amazing person._

.

Yes. This was the day his eight year goal had been achieved. All he wanted was to protect Aiko. At first, he did it by killing anyone who got too close. His aim was to be feared. However, Uzumaki Naruto, a boy of the same age and circumstances, took a different approach to life. Naruto's aim was to be acknowledged. This made him realize that the best way to ensure Aiko's happiness was to become recognized by the village. If he was Kazekage, then no one would scorn Aiko for being his ally. No one would hurt her for being his friend. What was precious to him would, hopefully, become precious to the villagers. Maybe, they too, could learn to appreciate Aiko and all of her good qualities that are constantly overlooked. Even though Uzumaki Naruto inspired that change, Aiko was the reason for it.

The crimson-haired Kazekage's eyes widened in realization. That was the answer to Temari's question. The reason why he became Kazekage was to preserve Aiko's happiness.

.

_**January**** 20, XXXX** (6 years ago)_

_Yesterday was Gaara's 20th birthday. Just like all the years before, he had received a mountain of gifts, mostly from girls, and read every card that came with them. He then created two piles of cards. Once he was done sorting the cards with their presents, he took the largest pile and ordered Kankuro-kun and Temari-chan to dispose of them. We never knew why exactly he would keep one group and get rid of the other. I asked him about this and he said that within the pile were presents with intentions that he did not appreciate, and that was that._

_Kankuro-kun wanted to take him out for drinks since he was now of age, but, like me, Gaara didn't see the benefit of impaired judgement and reflexes so we decided to stay home and celebrate there. It was a lot of fun._

_Temari-chan and Kankuro-kun were passed out on the couch snoring. I told Gaara that as his birthday present, since I couldn't find anything suitable for him, I would grant him one wish. That no matter how impossible it may be, I would definitely make it come true. But after I said that, he got really quiet. And it wasn't like his usual soothing silence, it was a noiseless bundle of nerves hanging in the air. I tried to take back my offer, seeing as how it had made him uncomfortable, but Gaara grabbed my hand, signalling me to stop blabbering._

_He asked if I still remembered our promise from the past._

_I wasn't quite sure which one he was talking about, but I just replied that I did._

_He told me that his wish was, from now on, that I introduce myself differently._

_I tilted my head in confusion; I had no idea what he was talking about._

_He whispered in a very hushed voice, so I leaned in closer to hear him._

_"Instead of introducing yourself as simply 'Aiko', won't you say, 'Sabaku no Aiko, the Kazekage's wife'?"_

_It felt as if all the oxygen left the room. I couldn't breathe and I was getting dizzy. My mouth kept moving, but words refused to form. I blinked furiously, but my vision kept on getting blurry and my cheeks felt wet, so I was probably crying. Most likely, I looked absolutely ridiculous. Since I couldn't properly express myself with words, I decided that there was only one course of action I could take to get the message across._

_I tackled him to the floor._

_I held him with a vice-like grip and kissed him on the lips. I snuggled my face into his shirt and began to laugh with tears still in my eyes. I was so happy. I wondered if this was a dream. Gaara was smiling too. Not as stupidly as me, but smiling none the less. I hope that this smile will be reserved for only me. I'm so selfish. He deserves better... but since I'm an evil person, I won't let him go._

_He stroked my hair and rolled us over so that he was on top. He then carried me to his bedroom to... ummm... familiarize ourselves with the other's body... Sorry, I'm not very good with things like this... Just thinking about it makes me too giddy to hold my pen... He he, but it was wonderful._

_So, this morning, I found myself draped over my crimson-haired fiancé whose arms were wrapped tightly around me. _

_I wish that everyday could be like this._

.

Gaara continued to read the diary, most entries being about happy memories like when she first moved in, their wedding day, their first purchase as a married couple, their anniversary, and other such things. However, one made him pause.

.

_March 30, XXXX_ (3 years ago)

_Hello. Once again, today is my birthday. Temari-chan and Kankuro-kun celebrated with me. However, Gaara wasn't there. That's why the date wasn't in bold this time. Lately, he has been staying in the office until early early morning. I am worried about him. Whenever I visit him, he always says it's an inconvenient time for him. _

_I hope he comes back soon. Even if for just a second, I want him to be with me on my birthday. _

_Maybe, I have been asking too much of him? I should just be grateful that he allowed me to be his wife and, up until now, has been present at every one of my birthdays. I'll do my best to be patient and supportive. But I hope I don't have to wait too long..._

.

That entry was the beginning of the end. Every entry after that was filled with loneliness and despair for the next three years. As he pored over each line, the same sentences kept appearing with water marks crinkling the pages.

.

_Gaara still isn't back._

.

_I'm lonely._

.

_Gaara is busy today too._

_._

_I'm sad._

.

_Gaara said he couldn't come._

.

_I'm confused._

.

_Gaara won't eat my food anymore._

.

_I'm scared._

.

_Gaara told me not to visit anymore._

.

_I don't know what to do._

.

_Gaara doesn't want to be with me anymore._

.

_I don't want to live... like this._

.

_What am I doing wrong?_

.

_What is wrong with me?_

.

_I'm sorry._

.

_I'm sorry._

.

_I'm sorry._

.

_Somebody, please save me._

.

At the very end of the journal were the most recent entries.

.

_March 30, XXXX_ (yesterday)

_Early this morning, after our fight, I received a request from the Gaara as the Kazekage. He has requested that I go on a negotiation mission in Hariganegakure. Even more so that in the past, Harigane is a volatile village, and the fact that I'm a negotiator puts me in even more danger since I won't be allowed to "take any drastic actions that may compromise Suna's position", or something like that. However, I fear that my origins will not help my plea in the way that the Council is hoping. It may be because I use to be from Harigane that they will lash out, since I could be branded a traitor. But, I guess if this is what Gaara needs from me, I will do my best to provide it..._

_Why does it have to be this way? Was there something I could have done to stop our relationship from becoming like this? I don't know. Perhaps, this was destined to happen? There's no way someone like me could ever be happy._

_I should have died that day when mother threw me away. But I didn't. I lived... and met Gaara, and became happy. That's why, this is enough. This is more than enough. Knowing what it's like to love and be loved, I really couldn't ask for anything more. _

_And, although this is what I tell myself, I don't truly believe it. I'm a selfish person. I do want more. I want Gaara to love me again. I want Gaara to pay attention to me again. I want Gaara to eat my food again... I want Gaara to embrace me and never let me go... but, of course, that will never happen. I'm sorry, for being this kind of deplorable person._

.

_March 31, XXXX _(today)

_Today is the day that I leave. I have already said goodbye to everyone. I wonder if Gaara will come to see me off? Nah, probably not. He has work to do so he'll be busy through lunch, like always. _

_I packed my stuff into boxes last night so that, if I don't make it back, it will be easier for Gaara to throw away my stuff. I wonder if he will remember me after I'm gone? Once again, probably not._

_Hey, Gaara, are you reading this? Truthfully, I wanted you to find this. I wanted you to realize how I was feeling and come running after me. Using guilt to satisfy my own ego, I'm terrible. _

_This situation is all my fault. After becoming Kazekage and reevaluating yourself, I did not. I naively believed that even if you were different, you would continue to pull me along and walk next to me. That was my mistake. I didn't realize that you had started walking at a faster pace, and before I knew it, I couldn't catch up. Or maybe, I chose not to catch up. I still clung to the hope that you would turn around and come back for me. I'm sorry. I'm sorry._

_I don't know when, or if, I will return. Whether the mission be a success or a failure, if I come back, I will definitely change into what you need me to be. I will be somebody that will be able to match your pace and walk beside you. That's why, will you wait for my return? Will you greet me with open arms and welcome me back? _

_Thank you, Gaara, for everything._

_I love you._

* * *

**Hooray! I finally finished Chapter 4! ... Sorry about how long it took...**

**Ummm... hopefully, Chapter 5 will be up sooner than it took for this one.**

**Really, I'm sorry.**


End file.
